Perhaps the reason why love is so elusive at present is that we have come to believe that love is just a feeling. We say we ‘love’, but the feeling has to be followed by certain meaningful actions. The responsibilities and the commitments we often hear about are what shows our intentions and reassures our loved ones that we are there for them unconditionally.
As Carter Hayward puts it, ‘Love is a choice – not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretence or guile.’
It is only when we think of love as something that we do rather than something that we feel, that we start to appreciate the difference. Love is not a passive word but an active one. To gain love, we must work at it. We need to be prepared to accept what it takes to truly love.
So, is there anything we can do to bring more love into our often tired and busy lives? Sublime explores some familiar ‘rules of love’ to help us check whether we are loving in word and deed.
1 GIVE
DON’T PUT SELF FIRST
SEEK TO HELP OTHERS GROW
SHARE WITHOUT EXPECTING A RETURN
‘The love we give away is the only love we keep.’
– Elbert Hubbard
2 FORGIVE
DON’T KEEP SCORE
LOOK FORWARD, NOT BACK
NOBODY’S PERFECT
‘Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.’
– Rabbi Julius Gordon
3 RESPECT
LOOK FOR THE BEST
ENJOY DIFFERENCE
LISTEN TO ONE ANOTHER
‘We need not think alike to love alike.’
– Francis David
4 INVEST
TIME AND ENERGY
A TREASURE THAT WON’T DECAY
LEAVE YOUR MARK
‘For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.’
– Rainer Maria Rilke
5 ENJOY
COMPANY AND INTIMACY
LEARN FROM EACH OTHER
RECHARGE THE SOUL
‘Love doesn’t make the world go round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.’
– Franklin P. Jones
